Rainbows are just a trick of light
by Broken Hearted Tamao
Summary: A mini series of the trials of Tamao over coming the loss of her almost-lover...
1. Preface

**A/N: I don't own Strawberry Panic.**

Preface

_I didn't really know love until Nagisa-chan broke my heart. And for that, I am thankful._

Tamao sighed, as she watched Nagisa and Shizuma from her window, walking hand and hand until there vanished from sight. _But I'm not thankful for that._

Shizuma and Nagisa were everywhere, not literally, of course, but they seemed to be. Shizuma's picture stood on the desk by Nagisa's bed, always reminding Tamao who Nagisa truly belonged to, taunting Tamao with her hauntingly beautiful green eyes. Or in classes, whenever Nagisa-chan could not properly focus, she would get that distant, dreamy look in her eyes and Tamao knew it was Shizuma who roamed her day dreams. Even in between after classes, when the couple could be seen doing anything and everything in plain sight. Everyone was always gossiping about the passion in the couple, always giggling. Sometimes, Tamao thought they were snickering at _her. _But with gossip, you are never really sure what is what and who is who. Still, that was little comfort for the heartbroken Tamao.

But Tamao was not someone to focus on the cons of a sitution. With all her might, she tried to focus on the lucky outcomes of her heart break. She was stronger, that she was sure of. No one would ever break Tamao again, at least the way Nagisa did. The way Nagisa left her on the altar, that would be great pratice just in case she ever got left on her wedding day. And, Tamao had matured. When Nagisa-chan first enrolled in Miator, Tamao almost worshiped the ground that the redhead walked on. Tamao crushed on her in a way that was borderline stalker, recording her "cute" screams, measuring her body, calling her "my Nagisa". But that Tamao was gone. In her place was the new and inproved Tamao, who was all grown up and no longer obsessed over the ones she cared about. All she did was write poems of her beautiful long lost rainbow...who turned out to be only rain once the sun went away. Sure, she did still squeeze her eyes shut and wish-oh how she would wish-that Nagisa-chan would change her mind and come back to her, and sometimes, on lonely nights she would dream that Nagisa did. And that was normal (at least she thought it was). But the truth remained the same: Nagisa and Shizuma, and then there was Tamao. _And it's better that way. _

Although Tamao prayed that for Nagisa's love and affection, it was not as common as her other wish. Mostly for a new lover, someone to be her partner for the Etoile election and her faithful lover. Tamao wrote lovely, dazzling poems now of days describing her "sun" or her "butterfly" (the metaphor was different each time), and prayed for a special one to call her own. Once or Twice Tamao mused on what she would look like, but then decided it didn't matter. All she needed was for someone new to be the object of her affection, and to return her love. Someone to speed up the healing process.

The healing process took forever. Tamao expected it would help in three weeks when Shizuma finally graduated, but she herself tried to come up with her own methods. At first, she slept in other girls' rooms, politely avoiding both Shizuma and Nagisa, and distracting herself with novels. Tamao, always willing to ignore the rejection pains, even tore the page from her notebook where she first wrote the amazing poem of Nagisa, her "rainbow". It was still lost in the room, somewhere between the waste basket and the wall.

At last, when Tamao was finally done with her newest edition to her collection of Nagisa related poetry she set the notebook down on her nightstand. _At last, the Nagisa collection is done._

Deep inside the feathery pages of Tamao-chans notebook, there was the best poem in the Nagisa collection. It took her sometime-two weeks-but it was worth it. Where tattered remains of the first poem was, the last poem was written in purple ink. And it would be one of the best poems Tamao-sama would ever write.

It was the poem of the rainbow's bittersweet closure.


	2. Act i

**A/N: I don't own Strawberry Panic.**

Act i: Part:i

**Early in Tamao's 5th year...**

Tamao picked at the warm ramen she selected for lunch with her chopsticks. She liked the taste, but the texture kind of reminded her of snakes slithering down her throat...

"Tamao-chan?"

"Huh?"

The redhead's concerned voice brought Tamao back to reality who had been spacing out, once again. Nagisa noticed she did this more and more often. _It's almost like she's not there._

"I can't believe it's a whole new year!" Nagisa exclaimed, spreading her arms wide to show her eager additude.

Tamao pondered this. It _was _a whole new school year. Tamao had bought fresh new school supplies and everything. There was even a welcome party for the new first year students as there was last year. Tamao swallowed another clump of noddles, musing over the fact that time always snuck up on her.

"Remember my first day here, last year?"

Tamao nodded, although she didn't choose to reflect on that. She avoided thinking about _that _day, and all other days that she had to witness Shizuma and Nagisa's intimacy. Instead, she remembered her first day _she _walked through the halls of Miator, so long ago. Despite being the ideal student, Tamao was nervous and quite shy. And using her intution, Tamao suspected the students new to Miator felt the same way as young-Tamao. So over the years, she always went out of her way to make them feel welcome. Including the Nagisa...

"Wow, so much happened last year!" Nagisa giggled.

"Yeah. I guess it did." Tamao sighed.

Tamao blew on her hot noddles to cool them down.

"Like Amane and Hikari becoming Etoile, the production of "Carmen", and me meeting Shizuma," Nagisa's eyes suddenly got romantic; Tamao resisted the urge to sigh.

"You write her, right?" Tamao asked, feigning polite interest. It was a trick she had picked up over the years.

Nagisa nodded, blissful. "I sent her a letter yesterday."

Tamao had read the letter, and helped Nagisa by correcting all the spelling and grammar errors. It was one of the many burdens Tamao tackled for Nagisa.

"It's a new year, Tamao-chan. Anything can happen. You might even meet someone," Nagisa hinted at a petite fourth year student from Miator.

"Who's that?" Tamao wondered, as Tamao thought she knew her from somewhere...

"Oshiro Reiko," Nagisa answered, half-giggling in joy that someone had taken an interest toward her friend. _Now Tamao can have _her _Shizuma._

"Oshiro-san?" The name sounded familiar, where had Tamao heard it before?

"A fourth grade student at Miator," Nagisa gossiped.

Tamao peered over at Reiko, trying to keep indifferent as she scanned her body. Reiko was tiny compared to the other students in her year, even her facial features were itty bitty. She had long royal purple hair that reached her middle, complete with striking dark purple eyes. Tamao remembered her, she was in the same poetry group as herself. Reiko was a reserved girl, the who's face grew flustered ever time she read her poem out loud, and the kind that had a gentle, voice that reminded Tamao of a meandering breeze. Silently, Tamao wondered why she hadn't noticed her before. Maybe because her world revovled around Nagisa-chan.

Reiko glanced over at Tamao again, face beet red again. Tamao smiled at Reiko's antics. Tamao always was attracted toward the innocent, childish types.

"You should talk to her!" Nagisa blurted out.

"I-I don't know."

Nagisa pouted, unaware of Tamao's lingering affection for her. Did Nagisa know that she had once broken Tamao's heart? "Come on."

_Well, it's a new year...and it's not like I'm going anywhere..._


End file.
